About Steph

I studied the violin at Trinity College of Music, London, and worked for six years as a professional violinist before giving up because I had lost my confidence, hated the way I played and could hardly bear to open my violin case. I couldn't practice at home if my neighbours were at home because I was scared that someone might hear me and if I was giving a solo performance I couldn't do it without beta blockers. My inner critic, which had been allowed to run amok unchecked in my head for most of my life to that point, had completely and utterly destroyed my career. I didn't pick a violin up for 15 years. When I did open the case again, it turned out that (after a fair bit of practice) I was a far better player than I had been before I gave it up. My new approach to playing the violin was one of curiosity, fun and creativity rather than constantly reinforcing negative beliefs about my abilities and focussing on berating myself for my shortcomings. I had no expectations other than to make improvements to my playing every day. Since then, and after realising I was far from the only talented musician to buckle under the pressure of perfectionism, I have worked with violin students who lacked or lost confidence or have experienced psychological barriers to success. I have found during the course of my violin coaching that the majority of issues experienced are driven from a mindset that encourages a deeply negative yet all-consuming focus on mistakes-as-bad-things, to the point that the mistake, not the path to a solution, becomes the focus. In such a technical discipline this is on one level understandable, of course, but viewed in the unhelpful and unproductive absolutes we often employ ('that was rubbish' or 'that was a mess') without thoughtful consideration of what happened, why, and what positives can be taken from the experience, it creates an environment of negativity that excludes joy, creativity and risk-taking and fosters a narrative that we are always failing and just not good enough unless everything is 'perfect'. And so the erosion of confidence begins. Reframing mistakes as an essential component of our growth and creating a mindset of curiosity and positivity around the currently unachievable takes us on a fascinating journey into the subconscious stories we tell ourselves and the physical manifestations that ultimately bring those stories of inadequacy and not-enoughness into our reality. Do you have a regular thought or physical trigger before you make a mistake? Do you stop breathing as you see 'that' passage in the corner of your eye? Do you decide where your mistakes are going to happen when you're putting the music on the stand? Is there a particular voice you associate with your inner critic? These are all incredibly common behaviours but almost impossible to spot when you are in the middle of trying to focus on the job of playing. If you think you may be experiencing barriers to growth in your playing and that it is affecting your wellbeing or career, please get in touch. I'd love to hear from you and I can help.

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